Overweight: The Stress Connection Unraveled

In the course of the last year, we've learned and shared a lot with you.  We've uncovered the basics of less than meets the eye.
metabolism and energy consumption.  We've looked at scams and myths and into the tendency of people to overstate the virtue of a food, nutrient, or ingredient simply to sell their product.  We even looked into the relationship between genetics and obesity.  Often, once we peeled back the layers, we found there was a whole lot

But today's topic is not one of those.  Stress is a big deal and is a very real player in the health of an individual.  And that makes it worth talking about. 

Cortisol

It's become conventional wisdom that cortisol is "bad".  (Ugh - I really hate these kinds of binary labels).  But how does cortisol work on the body?  Understanding this mechanism is the first step in grasping the impact of stress.

Cortisol is produced in the adrenal gland in response to stimulation messages from the hypothalamus. The adrenal gland's better-known function is to produce the hormone adrenaline which kicks off that critical-to-survival "fight or flight" response.  This is the ultimate stress response.  Think of cortisol as adrenaline's annoying little brother.  Not quite as cool, not quite as strong, but always around.  In fact, cortisol follows a natural circadian rhythym - naturally highest in the morning and gradually decreasing throughout the day, hitting a low point at bedtime.  This has some interesting implications for night-shift workers, but that's probably another post.

Just like adrenaline creates an all-out response of the body's key survival functions, cortisol signals the body to go into a form of "preservation mode".  Essentially it's a metabolic depressant.  The release of cortisol reduces your body's conumption of blood glucose, desensitizing insulin receptors, and signals the release of enzymes to release potential energy from alternate sources, like muscle tissue.  It signals your body, saying "we don't know what's happening here, or how long it's going to go on, but we're ready for the long haul."  If you've read some of our other posts about metabolic syndrome, improving your metabolism, or even carbohydrates in general, you start to see where cortisol levels can wreak havoc on a person's weight loss goals.  

And, like adrenaline, cortisol levels are spiked in response to external stimulus.  But instead of a survival threat, cortisol release is triggered by a broad and murky mix of stimuli we lump together under the title "stress".  And, like just about everything else in the human body, stress can be a positive motivator or a chronic debilitator.  So, how do you tell the difference?

Unravelling Stress

Stress is one of those wonderful words that everyone understands, but just about everyone defines differently.  This points to the fact that people perceive specific stressors quite differently.  And, if stress is in the eye of the beholder, how can we possibly hope to classify "good" stress as opposed to "bad" stress?  Science, it turns out, has been working hard on this very question.

According to a meta-analysis of 208 different studies on cortisol responses in humans and animals, there are two key factors that determine whether a situation is stressful or not: uncontrollability and social/evaluative threat.  Let's look at each separately. 

Clearly  nobody is in control here.

Uncontrollability:  This aspect of stress describes whether or not a behavioral change will have any impact on the outcome of an event.  In animal trials, mice who had control over a negative sound response (the buzzer rings when I decide to take the food) had much lower stress responses than those who had no control (the buzzer rings whether I take the food or not).  These same results were reflected in numerous human trials; if the subject perceived they could do something to change the outcome, their stress responses were much lower than those who didn't.

Social/evaluative threat:  As we said before, adrenaline is a survival response.  But a person's social survival (i.e. preservation of one's perception/status in a group) is no less important.  In the studies, tasks that presented a significant "threat" of being regarded or evaluated negatively by others, particularly in an aspect where the person held particular importance or the stakes were personal well-being, the stress response spiked significantly.  Interestingly, in studies of social primates, the submissive members of the clan consistently showed higher levels of cortisol than the dominant leaders.

What's more, stressors that exhibited both uncontrollability and a social/evaluative threat compounded the stress response and the stress response lasted longer than either stressor alone.  Now, I don't know about you, but I can't imagine anything that fits the bill better than a person who has tried and struggled with their weight each and every time they walk out their front door.

Some things that turn out to not significantly predict stressfulness in terms of cortisol response:

• Duration of stressor.  People were either "stressed" or "not stressed" and for how long didn't relate to the level of stress response.
• Type of task.  This is a tricky one.  Some tasks are inherently uncontrollable or present a social/evaluative threat (public speaking, for instance), so it can appear that a task, in and of itself, might produce a more significant response.  But when the studies controlled for these elements, the type of task was not predictive.  I'm one of those weird people who actually enjoys public speaking.  But hook up a camera or have my boss unexpectedly show up, and it's a whole different ball game.

The Stress Response

So, given the idea that uncontrollability and social/evaluative threats are the key elements of  negative stressors that elicit the strongest stress response, how do you tell when you're experiencing (or likely to experience) a negative stressor?  This is where I depart from the science and travel out on the limb of my own experience.  Thinking back on these kinds of events in my own life, the signs were clear: worry, over-thinking, heightened response (loud, over-expressive, quick to conclusions), and then there's the physical part.  My hands sweat.  Another thing that I seem to do is anticipate conflict and then start planning to argue.  Basically I start having emotional reactions to logical problems.  

Physiologically, if cortisol spiking signals the body to slow the processing of nutrients and be ready to borrow essential energy from muscle tissue, then "stress eating" (guilty, by the way) is about the worst thing you could do for your body.  This is a prime condition for fat storage.  Studies show that the effects of cortisol last less than an hour, so if you can hold off your urges for that long, your metabolic balance will be back to normal.

The point is, learn to recognize your own stress responses and realize where they are coming from.  Do you feel out of control?  Is your social (including professional) status threatened?  What are the warning signs and are there ways you can re-position the situation to put yourself back in your "happy place"?

Tackling Stress in Your Life

So far, we've established that elevated cortisol levels will suppress your natural metabolism.  Chronically elevated stress is definitely not healthy for your body and will ultimately derail weight loss goals.  Uncontrolled situations and the threat to a person's social status are the kinds of stressors that produce a strong cortisol response.  

I have long been a proponent of a simple life and believe in the principle that "less is more".  But it was only in the last couple of years that I took a determined look at my own life and did a "cost/benefit analysis" of each and every one of my commitments and obligations.  For me, the simple act of actively deciding what to keep and what to let go in my daily life was a tremendous relief.  We wrap ourselves up in so many things that many of us lose all perspective on what it is we actually "have" to do. 

There's really no way around it: if it doesn't involve feeding, sheltering, or clothing yourself or your family, you don't necessarily have to do it.

Once you've gone through the exercise of deliberately evaluating all the stuff you have in your life, you're on your way to seriously reducing the impact of uncontrollability.  Even if there are things that you choose to keep doing which are unpleasant, it's your choice and you're reminded of the reasons for your choice.  That puts you back in the driver's seat.  

I can hear you now through the interwebz, "Michael, that's all fine and good, but it's just not realistic.  There's no way you can eliminate all stressors."  And, gentle reader, you'd be right.  Some things are just plain unavoidable.  But, when those stressors come, I do believe there are a couple of important things you can do to deal with them.

Redefine "control".  This is serenity prayer stuff, right?  What factors can you control in a stressful situation?  If you can't control it, will that factor cause you physical or material harm?  Can you decide that factor is irrelevant to you in the bigger picture?  And, of course, "the wisdom to know the difference."

Be mindful about who's opinion/evaluation you value.  Often, we give others a great deal of power over our self-esteem without even knowing it.  Take that power back.  The circle of people whose assessments of me affect my self-worth is alarmingly small.  And, even then, the context is pretty specific.

"Let the air out."  What are the real stakes in your stressful situation?  Are you going to lose your livelihood?  Will you be harmed?  Will you be impeded in goals that are truly important to you?  Or is it simply unpleasant?  

Finally, when it comes to weight loss in particular, get informed.  The more you know about nutrition, the science behind different kinds of training, the more tools you have at your disposal to achieve your goals.  You'll be in control of your body again - to make it whatever you want it to be.  And realize that things take time.  We didn't get in the shape we are in overnight and our bodies are going to take time to remake.  You are in control - but you have to obey the laws of physics and the basics of human biology.  

Get Ready to Be Uncomfortable

Not this kind of uncomfortable...

Today, I'd like to share with you what I think is the real secret to the success Michelle and I have enjoyed in our fitness journey.  It's not about the perfect program or meal plan.  It's not some poster slogan.  It's certainly not a supplement or magic food.  It's about getting uncomfortable.  I'm not talking about pain or training to exhaustion.  It's something much simpler and more fundamental than that.

Let me see if I can explain.

Last week, I asked Michelle what she wanted for her birthday (she's turning schfurtny-trax, for those who are curious.  C'mon, you know the name of our blog...).  Almost without hesitation, she told me, "I want to learn the Olympic lifts."  First of all - I confess that I fell in love with her all over again at that moment.  Here is a woman I've known for 23 years and she still surprises me.  

We've been focusing on powerlifting for the last year and she's made tremendous progress.  She's flat impressive to watch at the gym.  She's really worked hard at focusing on the things she had the most room to improve on and drive through.  Who am I to deny her this one simple wish?  Besides - you try stopping her.  

So I made some calls and got a referral for a truly remarkable coach.  I'll leave out the name-dropping for the moment and save that for a later post.  We made contact with him and, as it turned out, he was lifting in a competitive meet at his home gym that weekend.  This was the best of all worlds.   We went to the meet and watched competitors of all sizes and skill levels yank bars from the floor to their chests or straight over their heads.  To call it impressive would be an understatement.  We had a little quality time with our new coach and, after about three hours, headed back to the homestead.

It was on the drive home that things began to sink in.  "I'm a little scared of all of this," Michelle confessed to me. "Am I totally crazy?  I'm in my forties for the love of God!"  As you can imagine, a fairly animated conversation ensued.  

"What's the worst thing that could happen?" I asked her.

"Well, I could hurt myself, but that's no different than any day at the gym, is it?"  I replied that it certainly wasn't.

Becoming "Settled"

Not what I meant either...

Michelle and I have been very fortunate to have taken career paths where we were basically (and sometimes literally) put in an empty room and told "I need you to make this happen."  A comfort zone isn't a luxury we were ever granted.  As it turns out, after two decades of this, it's become a compulsion.  Neither of us is satisfied with something after we've mastered the challenge.  It seems utterly natural to seek out the next opportunity to learn and grow.  

And that's the secret!

I'm not suggesting that everyone needs to go to extreme lengths and bungee jump out of a burning airplane with a frayed rubber band.  But I do know that, most often, we create our own limitations.  Have you ever watched a child work themselves up to taste something new?  It's an ordeal!  They're so sure that it's not for them that it would be easier to get them to put their hand on a hot stove rather than take that first bite.  And then what happens?  Chomp! Either they like it or they don't.  But we celebrate, right?  "At least you tried it, little Johnny!" 

When did we lose that?  When did we stop trying new things, for fear that it would be a disaster?  We chain ourselves up with thoughts like "I've never been a good 'X'er." or "I'm too old for something crazy like 'Y'." At some point, we yield to the expectations and assumptions associated with getting older.  Forgive me, but screw that!  I'm not letting any expectation or assumption define my vitality and love for life.  And, in my humblest of humble opinions, you shouldn't either.  Don't settle!

Get uncomfortable

If you ever want to feel true satisfaction, try something you didn't think you could do.  Or, better yet, work at something you know you can't do today until you can!  But doing that means leaving your comfort zone.  If you haven't felt that "what was I thinking? I'm going to make a total fool out of myself!" sensation in a while, it's time to dust it off.

Now, mind you, maturity has its own gifts.  Among them, a sense of consequence.  You don't need to do something dangerous to find something that scares you. 

Definitely not what I had in mind!  Awkward!

There are so many benefits to getting outside your comfort zone!  One - it makes you humble; you remember that you still have something to learn.  Two - it gives you something to learn!  I'm absolutely a firm believer that life-long learning is the key to an agile mind.  Three - it brings back your sense of awe.  Let's face it; we've seen a lot of things in our lives.  It's difficult to find something that truly knocks your socks off (until you seek it out).  Four - it gives you confidence that flows over into the rest of your life.  And five - you might find a new passion in life.

So what are you waiting for?  Try something new today.  Yes you might not be as good at it as you want to be (yet).  But you might be awesome!  Either way, we celebrate, right?  At least you tried it!

Don't waste your time with exercise

That's right, I said it.  And I'm not sorry.  But before you gather up the pitchforks and torches or make a call to "Shady Acres" to see if they have an opening for me, hear me out first.  

Recently, a friend shared this story with us:

He was at the gym, when an "older guy" came up and asked if he could work in.  The man was chatty, said he wished we could get some younger guys to do the lifting for us. Our friend told him that's why he was lifting, to be younger again.

The gentleman said, "I've been lifting for 50 years; started when I was 12. My mother said it would get easier. She lied. It just hurts more. It's not really possible to get in shape."

I hate to think how many hours of his life this man frittered away, all the while utterly missing the point.  Those are hours he will never get back.  And he'll never see the rewards that were right there for the taking either.  

Another conversation Michelle had with a young novice lifter:

The young woman was frustrated.  She hasn't been losing any weight and she hasn't seen any improvments in strength either.  Michelle looked into her workout log and saw that she has been doing the same weight for the same number of reps for as far as she cared to scroll back.  Except for one day.  On that day, she increased the weight a couple of pounds.  Her comments were, "this is definitely harder. Help!"  After that, she went right back down again.  

Michelle explained to her that she had to push herself.  That the only way she would grow or see improvment was to increase the weights.  The young woman said she couldn't do any heavier weights; she only "ended up gritting her teeth and pulling something". 

That conversation ended with Michelle just shaking her head.

By now, I'm sure you're seeing my point.  But I'll spell it out anyway.

If you don't have a goal, you're wasting time at the gym.

If you don't have a program that is designed to reach your goal, you're wasting time at the gym.

If you aren't pushing yourself when you're at the gym, making every day a little better than the last, you're wasting time at the gym. 

If you go home and throw it all away with poor nutrition, you're wasting time at the gym.  

You pay good money for your membership.  You put in good, valuable hours of your life when you go.  For most of us, this isn't spare time or spare change you couldn't find anything else to do with.  It's a squeeze.  So, why would you commit precious time and money to activity with no purpose and no results? 

"But I just want to be generally fit and healthy; what's wrong with that?"

Here's a secret: there is no such thing as a maintenance work out.  Let that sink in for a moment.  

There's your problem right there!

Your body adapts very quickly in response to exercise.  Your ability to perform - strength, endurance, power - are measurably improved after one session.  Go back a day or two later and you'll be able to do a little more than before.  It may not be much.  Hell, it may not feel like anything, but it's a fact.  

A "maintenance" routine is truly nothing more than getting stronger, faster, better, and then, without progression, deconditioning until the same routine becomes challenging again.  This is akin to having an oil leak in your car and never fixing it, just continually adding a quart.

Five things you can do to make your workouts count.

1.  Be present.  We've written before about the value of getting your head in the game, not just in the gym, but in anything that matters to you.  It seems obvious, but in our multitasking world, I think most of us are accustomed to dividing our attention out of habit. 

2.  Have a goal.  Again, it seems obvious, and it is written about regularly, but even within your individual workouts, you should have a goal.  "Today I'm going to do one more 'X'." or "Today, I'm going to increase my speed by .5mph for the first five minutes."  

3.  Don't sell yourself short.  You are capable of more than you think.  Don't you want to find out how much more? 

Now - HE - is done!

4. Compete with yourself and keep score!  This goes along with #3, but bears calling out.  If you are doing the same weight for the same reps, or hitting the same speed on the treadmill for the same distance, you are leaving your gains on the table.  Not to mention, as you condition, you burn fewer calories doing the same workout.  A five-rep set isn't over because you hit five.  It's over when you push up your last rep with good form.  (Michelle and I call this "the world's longest rep")

5. Don't be afraid to suck.  Okay, once again, let me explain before you hit the "close window" button.  We gravitate to things we are good at.  It feels good to be good at something.  But, in the gym (as with many places in life), the places where we feel least competent are the places we can grow the fastest.  And there's only one way to improve a weakness: challenge it.  Again and again.  Make your weakness your new strength.  

Wrapping up, I'd like to make sure we end on a positive note.  You've already committed your time and your money to getting to the gym.  That's a huge step.  Make those hours count.  Think about how you will remember those hours years from now.  You're welcome. 

At 42, Things I Wish I'd done Differently

As I roll over another in a growing collection of milestones in my life, I note that this one is unique in a few ways.  This birthday, my 42nd, also marks a year since Michelle and I returned to the gym and transformed our lives with fitness and nutrition.  In that time, Michelle has commented several times that she sees me a bit differently - that I've "come into my own".  I believe I am starting to understand what she means and maybe even sense it for myself.

I think it's common for those of us in our middle years to look back with a grimace at some of our "less shiny" moments.  But I've learned an awful lot in the past twelve months.  And, as I think about what I would tell my younger self, I wonder if any of you will be surprised or challenged by what my new perspective has brought forth.  

See - here's the thing: as many poor decisions as I've made in my life, I don't necessarily want to go back and undo any of them.  Okay - there are a couple in particular I'd just like to wipe off the map.  But, really, my life, for better or for worse, is a product of the choices I made, so wishing it away seems like I would be erasing part of who I am today.  That said, I think many of those moments would have gone very differently with the 42 Michael at the wheel.  

Abandon "Should"

"Should" is the worst word in the English language, and once, it was the bane of my existence.  In the future tense, "should" represents a whole host of obligations and commitments, most self-imposed, that pile up in front of you until they feel insurmountable.  In the past tense, "should" represents regret and guilt for those things you never got to (or wanted to get to).  

Since then, I've learned to reject "should".  If I catch myself saying it, then I stop.  I examine the thing in front of me and decide:  "Are you important? Will you make my life or my relationships that I value better in some way?"  If yes, then it goes into the "will" pile.  If not, I put it aside and don't spend time worrying about it anymore.  

Do not allow others to define you. 

For me, as with many, this goes back all the way to the messages I received in childhood.  I never really let anyone sway me toward what I was.  But I sure let people into my head about what I wasn't.  And - the thing is - I can't remember anything I've undertaken that I simply could not rise to.  But I do remember pretty clearly the times that I chose not to start down a path because of those voices.  

The beauty of the last year for me is that I have managed to do and become exactly the things I set out to accomplish.  I couldn't do those things when I started.  Flat couldn't.  But through effort and dedication and with the support of a truly amazing wife, I can now. Just because you can't - yet, doesn't mean you can't ever.

Don't waste any time with people who don't treat your friendship as a precious gift.  

Dr Phil (yes - I believe the man is a modern-day sage) once described these people as "takers".  They only use you for commiseration.  They bring you down, hold you back. Suck the life out of you.  Learn to recognize these people.  They're needy, always in crisis, and always seeking validation.  Drop them like a bad habit and never look back.  Friends - true friends - add to your life.  It's not that you become a taker yourself; you enrich and support each other.  I shake my head at all the people I allowed to attach themselves to my life, sucking me dry, because I was a good person and, therefore, should help them - again, and again, and again... 

YOU are worth making a priority.

My whole life (like many of us) has been wrapped up in service to others.  A veteran, a parent (a very young one), a spouse.  I spent so much time putting my own well-being aside to take care of other people, I never had anything left for myself.  Let me tell you how wrong-headed that is.  How can you possibly be a good father, husband, supervisor, or friend when you are completely strung out, exhausted, and unhappy with yourself.  People so often use their service to others as a mask for their own personal dissatisfaction with their bodies and their lives.  Until they break...

I think that these things may have dramatically changed certain paths in my life.  And even if the path itself didn't veer in another direction, it certainly would have been less rocky.  

But, we can't change the past; only learn from it.  I am in the best place in my life that I have ever been.  I'm comfortable with who I am, how I feel, how I look, and who I share my time with.  The next 40 years are going to be awesome!

What does hunger have in common with breathing?

I love analogies and metaphors.  Sometimes they don't work out so well, but often I find them the best way to make a (seemingly) complex point simple to understand.I've been trying to find a clean and concise way to explain the concepts the underpin our approach to nutrition for some time now.  And, let's face it, the biology lessons get a little - well - dry.  I mean, who wants to muddle through this:

Clear as mud, right?

But recently, it occurred to me that we can learn a lot about hunger and nutrition from another set of organs frequently focused on in training and exercise: the lungs.  

Everybody knows that exertion causes us to breathe more deeply and heavily.  So much so, that being out of breath is often associated with a "good workout".  But why, really, do we breathe hard during activity that crosses the aerobic threshold?

Soldier, do you even HIIT?

Extended exertion relies on the body's ability to get oxygen to working cells and transport away the CO2 generated in the process.  Oxygen is free-flowing through your arteries at all times (remember red arteries and blue veins from middle school biology?)  But, when the existing stream isn't enough, your cells are "starved" for the needed oxygen to continue the energy-supplying reaction.  Like the AT&T commercial, "you want more, you want more!"  The call goes out.

The central nervous system signals "more oxygen please" and, in response, your breathing rate and depth increases.  In short, you don't breathe harder because your lungs are empty, or even because your lungs asked for more; you breathe harder because your cells demand it and put the call out to your brain.  The lungs are the supplier in the system - not the driver.

Now your breathing is an autonomic reaction.  You can't very well stop it.  And nobody accuses you of poor willpower because you can't choose to reduce your oxygen intake.  

With me so far?  Let's look at how this relates to nutrition.

The same kind of processes go on with regards to replenishing your body with nutrition.  Cells need amino acids, fatty acids, and energy to continue their daily activity, and even more if you're stressing them through strenuous activity.  Instead of the lungs, our digestive system is the supplier for nutrients and energy the body demands.  When things get low, the brain signals "more nutrients please" and you get hungry - biologically, truly hungry.

The problem with us as humans is, we've convinced ourselves that the stomach is the driver of hunger, that "full" and "empty" are simply based on the contents of our gut.  We've stopped listening to our brain about when more is needed.  Obviously, the act of eating is voluntary, in contrast to breathing, and that gets us into trouble.

Another parallel: people perform "cardio" exercise in order to improve the capacity and efficiency of their oxygen processing system.  But how many of us work to "optimize our gut efficiency"?  We wouldn't consider breathing "junk air", because it just wouldn't give our body what it needs.  But food?  Nutritional density, quality, availability, and efficiency just aren't given a thought.  We know a growing number of people have sensitivities involving gluten - especially in excess.  And the skyrocketing popularity of probiotics would seem to indicate that gut problems are fairly wide-spread.  Our go-to foods contain preservatives and chemicals, foods so refined that they last a year on the shelf.  What do they do to our digestive process?  

Okay, so now what?

If you've hung around this long, you might be saying "I see your point, Mike, but what am I supposed to do about it?  Well, we need to change our relationship with food.  Our culture is so centered on food for everything but nutrition.  Whether it's for celebration, rewards, or commiseration, the messages around food are powerfully ingrained from childhood, marketing, and peer pressure.  We all have to wrestle with that in our own way.  But at the end of the day, food is fuel: building material and energy.  To have a healthy relationship with food, you have to put that thought at the forefront.

Next, try to figure out what your real hunger signals are.  For Michelle and I, we slow down a bit, our minds don't work quite as fast, and - if allowed to go on too long - we get shaky and "hangry" (a compound word of our own design, combining hungry & angry).  The problem is, these signs come on very gradually and aren't always easy to notice.  They are also signs of the fact that you're already at a deficit.  To me, this is probably the best case for, like breathing, eating a small, steady stream throughout the day.  You don't get especially hungry at any point, you don't get especially full either.  You're basically doing "healthy grazing".  From pre-workout through dinner, our meals are, at most, three hours apart.  

Finally, make sure that the food you have available and choose to provide your body is of high nutritional quality.  It's simpler, more satisfying, tastes better, and not that expensive, if you plan right.  

So, if you're struggling with your nutrition, dealing with hunger and cravings, just remember: it's as easy as breathing.

Choose to be "Present"

Michelle and I are chronic multi-taskers! No doubt about it. We've been career-bred to maximize this talent and take pride in it. And, if the national craze of texting-and-drinking-coffee-and-applying-makeup-and-driving is any indicator, we're in pretty good company. But there is a time and place for everything.

Why would you want to be anywhere else?

On our recent vacation, we stayed at a resort that had no television, no phones, no internet, and not even a clock in the room. The views were spectacular in every direction, and every member of the staff worked to make the smallest detail part of the experience. Yet, every night at dinner, we would see other couples with one or both checking in on their cell phones and tablets. It got us talking.

First of all, don't think I am missing the irony of discussing the importance of "unplugging" on a social media forum. But, again, there's a time and place for everything, and I'm certain you've set aside a special time in your day to enjoy our posts. But I digress...

As with most things in our life, our conversation turned to how what we were seeing related to training and a healthy lifestyle. As I said, we haven't exactly been conditioned to sit still. So where did it come from?

You can't "phone in" a deadlift

One of the great things about an intense training session is that your world gets very small. You are laser-focused on the next rep, the next set, what your body is telling you, and how you need to adjust. You are "there". And, afterward, that centered feeling remains. I am better able to focus on an individual task at work, without the need to keep my fingers in all the little tasks I could be working on.

And let me say this to my fellow gym patrons: If you can text during your leg press set or while on the stationary bike, you're not working hard enough.

It's not just being at the gym, but also the ritual of going. We make time for our training because it is important to us both and we stick to it. That time is ours; distractions are not invited. In fact, when the outside does creep in (my phone is also my music player), it completely ruins my focus and puts me out of sorts for the rest of the session.

Where are you going with this, Mike?

It comes down to this: make time and space in your life for things that are important to you and give those things your total attention when you're there. Whether it is family time, training time, or work time, you will get so much more out of those moments if you're not glancing at your blackberry, checking MyFace, or half-listening to the television.

The fact is, NOW is the only time that you can truly influence. But only if you're present to do it. Our vacation was - well - perfect. And it was all because we were both able to be fully in each moment as it came.

Finding your focus

Here are a few things you can try to build the habit of "presence."

• Try an affirmation: it sounds corny, but my company launched a campaign a couple years back titled "be here now." I didn't exactly embrace it at the time, but, even so, I caught myself speaking the words when I was checking my blackberry in meetings or at lunch.


• Schedule your time (realistically): blocking out time physically on a calendar like an appointment, communicating that you're unavailable, and sticking to it frees your mind up to focus on the task at hand. As for being realistic, make sure you've got time to achieve what you want in the time you've given yourself. Running over can really ruin your mojo.


• Clear your plate: prior to that scheduled time, take care of as much as you can so that's not weighing on your mind.


• De-clutter your environment: in order to be present, be deliberate about removing potential distractions from your surroundings. Turn off the TV, silence the cell phone, get a sitter - whatever you need.


• Give yourself permission to be "selfish": for me, a lot of my desire to multitask comes from a need to please others in my life. I'm reluctant to turn my attention from them to apply myself to my own priorities. This is a trap. Nobody would ask you to do this to yourself. And if they would, educate them.

Reasons not to multitask

• Injury: just like texting and driving is irrefutably tied to increased accidents, being unfocused in the gym can dramatically increase your risk of getting hurt.


• Frustration: distractions can take away your ability to progress. You can miss out on an opportunity to celebrate a success, even a small one. For us, those opportunities are a huge motivator to go back to the gym.

Here's the deal: give your priorities the undivided attention they deserve and the rewards will come. And, just like any other skill, building it in one part of your life can translate to others. When it comes to that dream vacation (which you happen to look great for), you'll be glad you did.

What to do when you hit "Day 3"

Confession time: my wife and I love home improvement shows, especially those where the DIYer gets in over their head. I know it's a little schadenfreude, but, hey, everyone has their vice.

The thing about these shows is that they always have the same progression:

• Day 1: A good (for them) breakfast and hopes are high as they eagerly get an early start into a new frontier of household bliss.


• Day 2: It's a little harder to get up. Things didn't go as far on day 1 as they had hoped, but they're determined to make up for lost time.


• Day 3: They're sore, tired, defeated. They realize that they didn't have the knowledge, tools, and expertise to accomplish what they wanted. The plan wasn't realistic. Tempers flare.

Sound familiar? The simple fact of the matter is, no matter how long you've been at it, we all hit "Day 3".

Situational Leadership models describe this as the "frustrated learner" stage of employee development. It's a make-or-break point for people. Either you find a way to get them over the hump, or there's a good chance they're gone.

But how does this apply to our fitness and health transformation goals? You're the leader AND the employee. You're the frustrated homeowner looking at the hole in the side of your house where you had hoped those sliding glass doors would be. You have to push yourself over the hump.

The first step, of course, is to recognize that you're in a motivational hole. Understand, too, that it happens to everybody at one point or another. You're in good company. What separates the transformers (heh - I would SO be Optimus Prime!) from those that settle back into their old ways is the determination to push past this wall.

Evaluate, Educate, and Energize

Once you've recognized that you're facing "Day 3", stop and make some time to evaluate your goals and your plan to achieve them.

• Are they realistic for the time you've given yourself?


• Are they specific enough for you to have chosen a course of action?


• Is your action plan truly oriented toward achieving the results? In weight loss, "exercise more, eat less" is particularly unhelpful.


• Do you have the tools, knowledge, and expertise to realize the gains you want?


• What have you already tried that didn't yield the results you were seeking?  If nothing changes, then nothing changes.

I'm going to suggest you actually write these questions down and answer them in essay form. Go ahead - I'll wait...

Done yet? Good. Moving on.

Get Educated
Why is it, when we see a puddle spreading across the floor from our utility room, we think immediately, "crap, better call the plumber"? We don't wander out into the street and take whatever advice gets thrown at us? We know we're in over our heads and we need an expert. But, when it comes to our bodies, we are more willing to either assume we know what needs to be done or listen to every single random tidbit we've ever heard in passing? You know the one's I'm talking about: lemon water and cinnamon to lose weight. Squeezing your glutes while you're watching TV or at the office. Silly, right? Yet, we're so ready for some magic cure, that we'll try just about anything.

Some of us are adventurous enough to pull up the schematics, grab a pipe wrench, and take on the jobs ourselves. Through research from quality sources, a phone call or two, and a pile of towels, we can achieve what we set out to do. It's messy and probably takes longer than a professional plumber would, but we did it. There's pride in that.

You need to get smart about your goals and the tools available. And that means opening yourself to new ideas and outside expertise. One of my favorite quotes, attributed frequently to Mark Twain, goes: "It's not what you don't know; it's what you know that ain't so that gets you." Nutrition and fitness are areas that are replete with mythology and misinformation. Odds are pretty good that you've absorbed some of that conventional wisdom into your own beliefs. We did too. Sometimes you have to unlearn a few things in order to gain new wisdom.

The key here is to seek information from those that produce the results you are looking for. If your goals are physique-based, then who better than those who manage their weight, strength, and diet for a living? The blogosphere and internet in general are littered with resources of varying quality. You can load up your toolkit pretty quickly if you develop a skeptical eye for a reputable source.

Reading will only get you 80% of the way there. There is no substitute for practical experience. Learn as much as you can for yourself, and then get a coach or a training partner with the kind of experience you need. This is that part in the DIY disaster show, where the homeowner finally breaks down and calls "Uncle Roy" the electrician to stop the smoking in the bathtub. And so should you.

Call Uncle Roy!

Get Energized
Okay, so you've taken stock of your plan and reevaluated it. You've taken the time to build your tools and resources. But you still need that spark. The situational leadership models tell us that the appropriate style for the frustrated learner is "selling." How do you sell yourself on something? Here's a few ideas:

• Treat yourself with new gear, whether for the gym or for the kitchen. A great pair of shoes, a really great knife and cutting board: whatever gets your heart racing.


• Get a partner (or a thousand). With today's technology, there are great opportunities for you to engage with people that have the same goals as you. We belong to Fitocracy and we are members and moderators of the Google + Fitness and Nutrition community. You can never have too many friends!


• Start a journal. Heck, you're reading ours. It works wonders!


• Give yourself some d@mned credit! You started this journey. You have everything you need. You have been successful in countless ways throughout your life. You will in this too. If you let yourself.

"Day 3" will come again

We all have ups and downs. We all have points where motivation fades or the world knocks us on our kiesters. Dealing with "day 3" isn't a one-time deal. Accept that and be ready for it the next time it rears its ugly head. Over time, with every victory, they will become more and more rare. Hang in there! You're worth it.

Finding Your Fire - Motivation, Passion, and Commitment

Inertia is a property of matter which resists change.  While it may not be physics, we each have our own sources of inertia.  Taking the first step to changing any course in our lives is often the most difficult.  And our health and fitness journeys seem to be especially prickly.

I tend to break a problem down into pieces when I'm trying to really understand it.  On this subject, I see motivation, passion, and commitment as the three distinct but related pieces that hold the key. We asked a number of our friends to share their perspectives on how each played a role in their own health journey.

Motivation

Our informal poll showed that, for most, motivation comes earliest and easiest. To me, motivation are those things that come from external sources. In many cases for us 40-somethings, the motivation comes from being diagnosed with an illness or health conditions that are out of control, but certainly there are more positive sources as well.  Many people cite wanting to be there for their children and grandchildren, for example.

Many people focus on the aesthetic side of being healthy first. Being seen as attractive by friends, coworkers, and loved ones (and therefore seeing yourself as attractive) is a powerful motivator. For us, our external motivation comes from all the things we have yet to accomplish in our lives: travel, adventure, new possibilities. Michelle has always wanted to ride a camel around the Pyramids. We both want to climb the walls of Dubrovnik. This weekend, we are taking a trapeze class. We know we need to be strong and healthy to make those things happen, so we train.

The downside of motivation (as we are defining it here) is that, to sustain it, we require validation from those external sources.  If we don't get it when we expect it (even if we haven't told others that we do), motivation fades.  In many cases, it can even turn to resentment, sabotaging your original intent.

Passion

Passion seems to develop more over time. In contrast to external motivation, passion is an internal drive.  You own the feelings and the desire to accomplish your goals.   The interesting thing about passion is that everybody exhibits it in some form in their lives, but we often have a difficult time translating those behaviors into new paths.

We read a post from another trainer who had two clients: one in great shape but who was flat broke, and another who was hugely successful financially, but couldn't get a handle on her fitness goals.  Success in both disciplines required exactly the same behaviors and attitudes, but each found it difficult to see the commonalities between success (and failure).

Passion, when properly channeled and supported with the right information and support, will open almost any door. As career military, we were never passionate about our weight or physical training; we did it because we had to or be barred from promotion and other opportunities. Now that I feel strong and capable, I never want to lose that feeling. You'd have to drag me physically - kicking and screaming - away from my training and nutrition plan.

Commitment

No matter where your fire comes from, when it comes down to brass tacks, you have to execute your plan.  In our insanely busy modern life, this seems like an almost insurmountable task.  Who has time to add another commitment to our plates?

Here's how I see it:  Commitment occurs when you put your priorities in front of your obligations.  Most of the things that strain our daily schedules to the breaking point are obligations - things that we feel like we should be doing, either because of social pressure (keeping up with the Jones'), or because we have put an expectation on ourselves to be "all things to all people".

The ugly word here is "should". If you catch yourself using the word, stop and ask yourself, "Am I saying that because it is a priority for me, or is it something I feel obligated to do?" If it is a priority, then maybe "should" isn't good enough. If it's an obligation you're facing, perhaps it's time to re-evaluate that aspect of your life.

A renowned writer for corporate success, ..., once said, "if you have more than three priorities, you don't have any." Now there's a show-stopper for ya. How many of us in our smart-phone-enabled, social-media-overridden world could offer such a short list?

Making it work for you

Find what things motivate you and write them down. Keep them in a place you can refer to often. If you're after aesthetics, take a "before" picture. Think about how those items can be validated. Can you do it yourself through measurement? Do you need support and recognition from someone else? If so, make a plan to explain what your goals are and how they can help.

Understand that passion takes time. Seek to master every aspect of your training and nutrition. Read voraciously, seek advice, learn the core principles that will lead to success. I mean, isn't that what you did in other aspects of your life?

Once you own the knowledge, you will feel more in control of your own destiny, and passion will have the opportunity to take root. As long as you passively allow others to dictate what you should and shouldn't do, passion will be harder to come by.

Examine your priorities and obligations. Where does being healthy fall on that list? What could you do to move it higher? To me, in the long term, no matter what else you want to accomplish, you'll have to be healthy to do it. If those commitments are keeping you from investing in your body and your health, then maybe some need to change. If you're not ready to commit - be honest with yourself. There is no point in setting yourself up for failure with expectations that lack commitment. Throughout my thirties, I would try at times to re-ignite a commitment to fitness. But, I didn't realize how much control I had to make room in my life. I spent all my energy trying to be the perfect dad, perfect boss, and greatest friend to others. But the truth is, I was giving only a fraction of my energy to all of those endeavors and, since I wasn't caring for myself, even that was dissipated.

If this sounds like a page out of your story, resolve to work to remove some of those commitments from your list over the course of the next year (be specific about what you will do and how long it will take). That will allow you to really invest in yourself.

Instead of Resolutions, Examine your Priorities

Happy New Year everyone! I, for one, am looking forward to what 2013 brings, and I hope the same is true for you.

Let's talk about resolutions for a moment. Its a fine tradition. But, on the very day everyone is making them, I see stories all over the news telling you that you're just going to break them anyway. While, statistically, that's probably true, it seems like an awfully defeatist attitude. Or - are we just enabling each other? Letting each other off our prospective hooks? If the purpose of a resolution is to improve some aspect of our lives that is important to us, then why are they so easily broken?

THE PREMISE: Our priorities are where we devote our time and our energy. Where we devote our time and energy, quality follows.

Years ago, a wise mentor told me, "you can do a few things well or a lot of things badly." I have passed that on a hundred times, but never really followed his advice myself. I've recently had the opportunity to take a fresh look at how my life was playing out. I realized that I was spread so thin I could barely breathe. I was constantly giving my last ounce of energy to people and causes. And I THOUGHT I was actually pulling it all off. I was SUCH a good person! Does that sound familiar to anyone? I bet it does.

I finally took steps. I actually made a list of the principles that were most important to how I live my daily life. I called it my household creed. I used it to examine the relationships in my life, my commitments, and my direction. It was a revelation! The truth was, I was constantly falling short in just about every area of my life, because I was only giving each about 10% of my energy and attention. And personal well-being? Forget it! There was no "me" in there. And, if by some chance there was, I felt guilty - selfish - for taking the time for myself.

I started making changes immediately. I had some tough conversations with people. I turned off a number of commitments. But, surprisingly, it wasn't that hard. I knew that I wasn't really giving those people my best in the first place. I also knew that those commitments were out of some sense of social obligation, rather than because they were highly important to me personally.

Now - reality has to set in here. Most of us have to work to feed, clothe, and house ourselves and our families. THOSE are always priorities. But, if the energy you're devoting to playing workplace politics isn't in line with what really matters to you, then have you considered entering a "maintenance mode" with your career? Where can that time, energy, and devotion be better spent? Are there other activities, expenses, or commitments you could trim to give you more latitude to focus on what's truly important?

This year, before you make a list of resolutions of additional things you "should" be doing (or doing better), take a few minutes (or days - this is your life we're talking about) to examine your priorities. Write them down. Then, look at what your time and energy over the past year say about whether you're being true to them. If they're out of whack - make a course correction. THAT's a resolution everyone should be able to keep.