What to do when you hit "Day 3"

Confession time: my wife and I love home improvement shows, especially those where the DIYer gets in over their head. I know it's a little schadenfreude, but, hey, everyone has their vice.

The thing about these shows is that they always have the same progression:

• Day 1: A good (for them) breakfast and hopes are high as they eagerly get an early start into a new frontier of household bliss.


• Day 2: It's a little harder to get up. Things didn't go as far on day 1 as they had hoped, but they're determined to make up for lost time.


• Day 3: They're sore, tired, defeated. They realize that they didn't have the knowledge, tools, and expertise to accomplish what they wanted. The plan wasn't realistic. Tempers flare.

Sound familiar? The simple fact of the matter is, no matter how long you've been at it, we all hit "Day 3".

Situational Leadership models describe this as the "frustrated learner" stage of employee development. It's a make-or-break point for people. Either you find a way to get them over the hump, or there's a good chance they're gone.

But how does this apply to our fitness and health transformation goals? You're the leader AND the employee. You're the frustrated homeowner looking at the hole in the side of your house where you had hoped those sliding glass doors would be. You have to push yourself over the hump.

The first step, of course, is to recognize that you're in a motivational hole. Understand, too, that it happens to everybody at one point or another. You're in good company. What separates the transformers (heh - I would SO be Optimus Prime!) from those that settle back into their old ways is the determination to push past this wall.

Evaluate, Educate, and Energize

Once you've recognized that you're facing "Day 3", stop and make some time to evaluate your goals and your plan to achieve them.

• Are they realistic for the time you've given yourself?


• Are they specific enough for you to have chosen a course of action?


• Is your action plan truly oriented toward achieving the results? In weight loss, "exercise more, eat less" is particularly unhelpful.


• Do you have the tools, knowledge, and expertise to realize the gains you want?


• What have you already tried that didn't yield the results you were seeking?  If nothing changes, then nothing changes.

I'm going to suggest you actually write these questions down and answer them in essay form. Go ahead - I'll wait...

Done yet? Good. Moving on.

Get Educated
Why is it, when we see a puddle spreading across the floor from our utility room, we think immediately, "crap, better call the plumber"? We don't wander out into the street and take whatever advice gets thrown at us? We know we're in over our heads and we need an expert. But, when it comes to our bodies, we are more willing to either assume we know what needs to be done or listen to every single random tidbit we've ever heard in passing? You know the one's I'm talking about: lemon water and cinnamon to lose weight. Squeezing your glutes while you're watching TV or at the office. Silly, right? Yet, we're so ready for some magic cure, that we'll try just about anything.

Some of us are adventurous enough to pull up the schematics, grab a pipe wrench, and take on the jobs ourselves. Through research from quality sources, a phone call or two, and a pile of towels, we can achieve what we set out to do. It's messy and probably takes longer than a professional plumber would, but we did it. There's pride in that.

You need to get smart about your goals and the tools available. And that means opening yourself to new ideas and outside expertise. One of my favorite quotes, attributed frequently to Mark Twain, goes: "It's not what you don't know; it's what you know that ain't so that gets you." Nutrition and fitness are areas that are replete with mythology and misinformation. Odds are pretty good that you've absorbed some of that conventional wisdom into your own beliefs. We did too. Sometimes you have to unlearn a few things in order to gain new wisdom.

The key here is to seek information from those that produce the results you are looking for. If your goals are physique-based, then who better than those who manage their weight, strength, and diet for a living? The blogosphere and internet in general are littered with resources of varying quality. You can load up your toolkit pretty quickly if you develop a skeptical eye for a reputable source.

Reading will only get you 80% of the way there. There is no substitute for practical experience. Learn as much as you can for yourself, and then get a coach or a training partner with the kind of experience you need. This is that part in the DIY disaster show, where the homeowner finally breaks down and calls "Uncle Roy" the electrician to stop the smoking in the bathtub. And so should you.

Call Uncle Roy!

Get Energized
Okay, so you've taken stock of your plan and reevaluated it. You've taken the time to build your tools and resources. But you still need that spark. The situational leadership models tell us that the appropriate style for the frustrated learner is "selling." How do you sell yourself on something? Here's a few ideas:

• Treat yourself with new gear, whether for the gym or for the kitchen. A great pair of shoes, a really great knife and cutting board: whatever gets your heart racing.


• Get a partner (or a thousand). With today's technology, there are great opportunities for you to engage with people that have the same goals as you. We belong to Fitocracy and we are members and moderators of the Google + Fitness and Nutrition community. You can never have too many friends!


• Start a journal. Heck, you're reading ours. It works wonders!


• Give yourself some d@mned credit! You started this journey. You have everything you need. You have been successful in countless ways throughout your life. You will in this too. If you let yourself.

"Day 3" will come again

We all have ups and downs. We all have points where motivation fades or the world knocks us on our kiesters. Dealing with "day 3" isn't a one-time deal. Accept that and be ready for it the next time it rears its ugly head. Over time, with every victory, they will become more and more rare. Hang in there! You're worth it.