Finding Your Fire - Motivation, Passion, and Commitment

Inertia is a property of matter which resists change.  While it may not be physics, we each have our own sources of inertia.  Taking the first step to changing any course in our lives is often the most difficult.  And our health and fitness journeys seem to be especially prickly.

I tend to break a problem down into pieces when I'm trying to really understand it.  On this subject, I see motivation, passion, and commitment as the three distinct but related pieces that hold the key. We asked a number of our friends to share their perspectives on how each played a role in their own health journey.

Motivation

Our informal poll showed that, for most, motivation comes earliest and easiest. To me, motivation are those things that come from external sources. In many cases for us 40-somethings, the motivation comes from being diagnosed with an illness or health conditions that are out of control, but certainly there are more positive sources as well.  Many people cite wanting to be there for their children and grandchildren, for example.

Many people focus on the aesthetic side of being healthy first. Being seen as attractive by friends, coworkers, and loved ones (and therefore seeing yourself as attractive) is a powerful motivator. For us, our external motivation comes from all the things we have yet to accomplish in our lives: travel, adventure, new possibilities. Michelle has always wanted to ride a camel around the Pyramids. We both want to climb the walls of Dubrovnik. This weekend, we are taking a trapeze class. We know we need to be strong and healthy to make those things happen, so we train.

The downside of motivation (as we are defining it here) is that, to sustain it, we require validation from those external sources.  If we don't get it when we expect it (even if we haven't told others that we do), motivation fades.  In many cases, it can even turn to resentment, sabotaging your original intent.

Passion

Passion seems to develop more over time. In contrast to external motivation, passion is an internal drive.  You own the feelings and the desire to accomplish your goals.   The interesting thing about passion is that everybody exhibits it in some form in their lives, but we often have a difficult time translating those behaviors into new paths.

We read a post from another trainer who had two clients: one in great shape but who was flat broke, and another who was hugely successful financially, but couldn't get a handle on her fitness goals.  Success in both disciplines required exactly the same behaviors and attitudes, but each found it difficult to see the commonalities between success (and failure).

Passion, when properly channeled and supported with the right information and support, will open almost any door. As career military, we were never passionate about our weight or physical training; we did it because we had to or be barred from promotion and other opportunities. Now that I feel strong and capable, I never want to lose that feeling. You'd have to drag me physically - kicking and screaming - away from my training and nutrition plan.

Commitment

No matter where your fire comes from, when it comes down to brass tacks, you have to execute your plan.  In our insanely busy modern life, this seems like an almost insurmountable task.  Who has time to add another commitment to our plates?

Here's how I see it:  Commitment occurs when you put your priorities in front of your obligations.  Most of the things that strain our daily schedules to the breaking point are obligations - things that we feel like we should be doing, either because of social pressure (keeping up with the Jones'), or because we have put an expectation on ourselves to be "all things to all people".

The ugly word here is "should". If you catch yourself using the word, stop and ask yourself, "Am I saying that because it is a priority for me, or is it something I feel obligated to do?" If it is a priority, then maybe "should" isn't good enough. If it's an obligation you're facing, perhaps it's time to re-evaluate that aspect of your life.

A renowned writer for corporate success, ..., once said, "if you have more than three priorities, you don't have any." Now there's a show-stopper for ya. How many of us in our smart-phone-enabled, social-media-overridden world could offer such a short list?

Making it work for you

Find what things motivate you and write them down. Keep them in a place you can refer to often. If you're after aesthetics, take a "before" picture. Think about how those items can be validated. Can you do it yourself through measurement? Do you need support and recognition from someone else? If so, make a plan to explain what your goals are and how they can help.

Understand that passion takes time. Seek to master every aspect of your training and nutrition. Read voraciously, seek advice, learn the core principles that will lead to success. I mean, isn't that what you did in other aspects of your life?

Once you own the knowledge, you will feel more in control of your own destiny, and passion will have the opportunity to take root. As long as you passively allow others to dictate what you should and shouldn't do, passion will be harder to come by.

Examine your priorities and obligations. Where does being healthy fall on that list? What could you do to move it higher? To me, in the long term, no matter what else you want to accomplish, you'll have to be healthy to do it. If those commitments are keeping you from investing in your body and your health, then maybe some need to change. If you're not ready to commit - be honest with yourself. There is no point in setting yourself up for failure with expectations that lack commitment. Throughout my thirties, I would try at times to re-ignite a commitment to fitness. But, I didn't realize how much control I had to make room in my life. I spent all my energy trying to be the perfect dad, perfect boss, and greatest friend to others. But the truth is, I was giving only a fraction of my energy to all of those endeavors and, since I wasn't caring for myself, even that was dissipated.

If this sounds like a page out of your story, resolve to work to remove some of those commitments from your list over the course of the next year (be specific about what you will do and how long it will take). That will allow you to really invest in yourself.