Choose to be "Present"

Michelle and I are chronic multi-taskers! No doubt about it. We've been career-bred to maximize this talent and take pride in it. And, if the national craze of texting-and-drinking-coffee-and-applying-makeup-and-driving is any indicator, we're in pretty good company. But there is a time and place for everything.

Why would you want to be anywhere else?

On our recent vacation, we stayed at a resort that had no television, no phones, no internet, and not even a clock in the room. The views were spectacular in every direction, and every member of the staff worked to make the smallest detail part of the experience. Yet, every night at dinner, we would see other couples with one or both checking in on their cell phones and tablets. It got us talking.

First of all, don't think I am missing the irony of discussing the importance of "unplugging" on a social media forum. But, again, there's a time and place for everything, and I'm certain you've set aside a special time in your day to enjoy our posts. But I digress...

As with most things in our life, our conversation turned to how what we were seeing related to training and a healthy lifestyle. As I said, we haven't exactly been conditioned to sit still. So where did it come from?

You can't "phone in" a deadlift

One of the great things about an intense training session is that your world gets very small. You are laser-focused on the next rep, the next set, what your body is telling you, and how you need to adjust. You are "there". And, afterward, that centered feeling remains. I am better able to focus on an individual task at work, without the need to keep my fingers in all the little tasks I could be working on.

And let me say this to my fellow gym patrons: If you can text during your leg press set or while on the stationary bike, you're not working hard enough.

It's not just being at the gym, but also the ritual of going. We make time for our training because it is important to us both and we stick to it. That time is ours; distractions are not invited. In fact, when the outside does creep in (my phone is also my music player), it completely ruins my focus and puts me out of sorts for the rest of the session.

Where are you going with this, Mike?

It comes down to this: make time and space in your life for things that are important to you and give those things your total attention when you're there. Whether it is family time, training time, or work time, you will get so much more out of those moments if you're not glancing at your blackberry, checking MyFace, or half-listening to the television.

The fact is, NOW is the only time that you can truly influence. But only if you're present to do it. Our vacation was - well - perfect. And it was all because we were both able to be fully in each moment as it came.

Finding your focus

Here are a few things you can try to build the habit of "presence."

• Try an affirmation: it sounds corny, but my company launched a campaign a couple years back titled "be here now." I didn't exactly embrace it at the time, but, even so, I caught myself speaking the words when I was checking my blackberry in meetings or at lunch.


• Schedule your time (realistically): blocking out time physically on a calendar like an appointment, communicating that you're unavailable, and sticking to it frees your mind up to focus on the task at hand. As for being realistic, make sure you've got time to achieve what you want in the time you've given yourself. Running over can really ruin your mojo.


• Clear your plate: prior to that scheduled time, take care of as much as you can so that's not weighing on your mind.


• De-clutter your environment: in order to be present, be deliberate about removing potential distractions from your surroundings. Turn off the TV, silence the cell phone, get a sitter - whatever you need.


• Give yourself permission to be "selfish": for me, a lot of my desire to multitask comes from a need to please others in my life. I'm reluctant to turn my attention from them to apply myself to my own priorities. This is a trap. Nobody would ask you to do this to yourself. And if they would, educate them.

Reasons not to multitask

• Injury: just like texting and driving is irrefutably tied to increased accidents, being unfocused in the gym can dramatically increase your risk of getting hurt.


• Frustration: distractions can take away your ability to progress. You can miss out on an opportunity to celebrate a success, even a small one. For us, those opportunities are a huge motivator to go back to the gym.

Here's the deal: give your priorities the undivided attention they deserve and the rewards will come. And, just like any other skill, building it in one part of your life can translate to others. When it comes to that dream vacation (which you happen to look great for), you'll be glad you did.

What to do when you hit "Day 3"

Confession time: my wife and I love home improvement shows, especially those where the DIYer gets in over their head. I know it's a little schadenfreude, but, hey, everyone has their vice.

The thing about these shows is that they always have the same progression:

• Day 1: A good (for them) breakfast and hopes are high as they eagerly get an early start into a new frontier of household bliss.


• Day 2: It's a little harder to get up. Things didn't go as far on day 1 as they had hoped, but they're determined to make up for lost time.


• Day 3: They're sore, tired, defeated. They realize that they didn't have the knowledge, tools, and expertise to accomplish what they wanted. The plan wasn't realistic. Tempers flare.

Sound familiar? The simple fact of the matter is, no matter how long you've been at it, we all hit "Day 3".

Situational Leadership models describe this as the "frustrated learner" stage of employee development. It's a make-or-break point for people. Either you find a way to get them over the hump, or there's a good chance they're gone.

But how does this apply to our fitness and health transformation goals? You're the leader AND the employee. You're the frustrated homeowner looking at the hole in the side of your house where you had hoped those sliding glass doors would be. You have to push yourself over the hump.

The first step, of course, is to recognize that you're in a motivational hole. Understand, too, that it happens to everybody at one point or another. You're in good company. What separates the transformers (heh - I would SO be Optimus Prime!) from those that settle back into their old ways is the determination to push past this wall.

Evaluate, Educate, and Energize

Once you've recognized that you're facing "Day 3", stop and make some time to evaluate your goals and your plan to achieve them.

• Are they realistic for the time you've given yourself?


• Are they specific enough for you to have chosen a course of action?


• Is your action plan truly oriented toward achieving the results? In weight loss, "exercise more, eat less" is particularly unhelpful.


• Do you have the tools, knowledge, and expertise to realize the gains you want?


• What have you already tried that didn't yield the results you were seeking?  If nothing changes, then nothing changes.

I'm going to suggest you actually write these questions down and answer them in essay form. Go ahead - I'll wait...

Done yet? Good. Moving on.

Get Educated
Why is it, when we see a puddle spreading across the floor from our utility room, we think immediately, "crap, better call the plumber"? We don't wander out into the street and take whatever advice gets thrown at us? We know we're in over our heads and we need an expert. But, when it comes to our bodies, we are more willing to either assume we know what needs to be done or listen to every single random tidbit we've ever heard in passing? You know the one's I'm talking about: lemon water and cinnamon to lose weight. Squeezing your glutes while you're watching TV or at the office. Silly, right? Yet, we're so ready for some magic cure, that we'll try just about anything.

Some of us are adventurous enough to pull up the schematics, grab a pipe wrench, and take on the jobs ourselves. Through research from quality sources, a phone call or two, and a pile of towels, we can achieve what we set out to do. It's messy and probably takes longer than a professional plumber would, but we did it. There's pride in that.

You need to get smart about your goals and the tools available. And that means opening yourself to new ideas and outside expertise. One of my favorite quotes, attributed frequently to Mark Twain, goes: "It's not what you don't know; it's what you know that ain't so that gets you." Nutrition and fitness are areas that are replete with mythology and misinformation. Odds are pretty good that you've absorbed some of that conventional wisdom into your own beliefs. We did too. Sometimes you have to unlearn a few things in order to gain new wisdom.

The key here is to seek information from those that produce the results you are looking for. If your goals are physique-based, then who better than those who manage their weight, strength, and diet for a living? The blogosphere and internet in general are littered with resources of varying quality. You can load up your toolkit pretty quickly if you develop a skeptical eye for a reputable source.

Reading will only get you 80% of the way there. There is no substitute for practical experience. Learn as much as you can for yourself, and then get a coach or a training partner with the kind of experience you need. This is that part in the DIY disaster show, where the homeowner finally breaks down and calls "Uncle Roy" the electrician to stop the smoking in the bathtub. And so should you.

Call Uncle Roy!

Get Energized
Okay, so you've taken stock of your plan and reevaluated it. You've taken the time to build your tools and resources. But you still need that spark. The situational leadership models tell us that the appropriate style for the frustrated learner is "selling." How do you sell yourself on something? Here's a few ideas:

• Treat yourself with new gear, whether for the gym or for the kitchen. A great pair of shoes, a really great knife and cutting board: whatever gets your heart racing.


• Get a partner (or a thousand). With today's technology, there are great opportunities for you to engage with people that have the same goals as you. We belong to Fitocracy and we are members and moderators of the Google + Fitness and Nutrition community. You can never have too many friends!


• Start a journal. Heck, you're reading ours. It works wonders!


• Give yourself some d@mned credit! You started this journey. You have everything you need. You have been successful in countless ways throughout your life. You will in this too. If you let yourself.

"Day 3" will come again

We all have ups and downs. We all have points where motivation fades or the world knocks us on our kiesters. Dealing with "day 3" isn't a one-time deal. Accept that and be ready for it the next time it rears its ugly head. Over time, with every victory, they will become more and more rare. Hang in there! You're worth it.

Why we Train: Possibilities!

Today's post is just a short one.  It's a post about the art of the possible.  Nine months ago, Michelle and I were completely out of shape and feeling our age.  Today, we took a trapeze class at Twin Cities Trapeze after seeing it featured on the local morning news.  It was, in a word, amazing!  We were swinging around like two eight year olds on the playground.

The crazy thing is, when you feel strong and healthy, you get up to things.  And every new thing you try is a step to something else new.  You don't have to jump out of an airplane or spend thousands of dollars.  There is adventure all around you.  You only have to go out there and get it.

So, enjoy the video and let us know what it inspires in you.  The sky's the limit.